Where are you leaking your energy? Do you have an invisible contract that is running your life? Understanding how obligation can be an invisible contract in which you leak power and it affects your success is a huge key to mastering the game.
My husband, Capt. Ryan Van Fleet of Good Karma Sportfishing and Educational Programs, and I deep dive into this topic including:
- Pattern intelligence
- Sovereign choices
- Boundaries
- Personal stories aka #dietcokegate, family and career
- Psychology
- Archetypes
Obligation isn’t just a mood or a bad habit—it’s a subconscious survival mechanism via nervous system regulation. When you trade your sovereign authenticity for obligation, your brain registers it as a loss of autonomy.
You close down internal inspiration and open up a background open loop in your mind. The goal isn’t to stop doing nice things for people or stop showing up in your business; it’s to shift the psychological root from a conditioned ‘should’ to a conscious, sovereign choice.
Recognizing this pattern is crucial for success.
As mentioned in the podcast episode:
Questions to ask yourself:
- What are you doing right now purely because you feel obligated?
- Who would be disappointed if you stopped?
- If nobody knew you stopped doing it, would you still do it?
- When did you first say yes to this?
- Would the person you are today make the same agreement?
- Are you honoring a commitment—or avoiding someone’s reaction?
- What’s the cost of continuing?
- What’s the cost of stopping?
- What identity are you protecting by continuing?
- What would consciously choosing it again feel like?
For the next 24 hours, notice every time you think:
“I have to.”
“I should.”
“They’ll expect me to.”
“They’ll be disappointed.”
“What will they think?”
“But they did ___ for me.”
Then ask:
“If I removed the obligation, what would I actually choose?”
Thank you for listening and sharing!
Connect further:
www.patreon.com/consciousconvergence
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IG @themelindavanfleet
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