I will never forget the day I looked at my husband Ryan and said, “You’re getting your captain’s license. You need to work for yourself.” He stared at me. Probably scared sh$tless as we had no experience, business training, or money to start what is now Good Karma Sportfishing.
I remember when he got his captain’s license, and we bought our boat, The Good Karma. The phone would ring with an inquiry, and he would look at me with a blank stare wondering what to say. We would scramble for words which eventually became a well-oiled script. Comments such as, “You must be a new captain” eventually subsided, and things got easier. What changed? Confidence.
I love this quote by the Dalai Lama, “With realization in one’s potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.”
Ryan started to build his confidence, hence building a better world for himself and others.
What Is Confidence?
Think about confidence for a second. What is your definition? How do you define it?
Do you get confused with arrogance? Know it all? Do you feel proud?
“Confidence is a belief in oneself, the conviction that one has the ability to meet life’s challenges and to succeed—and the willingness to act accordingly. Being confident requires a realistic sense of one’s capabilities and feeling secure in that knowledge.”
What are some words that come to mind regarding confidence?
Courage, fearless, risk taker, balls, guts?
What are some negative words that come to mind regarding confidence?
Narcissist, arrogant, pompous?
Actor Stewart Stafford said, “Confidence is when you believe in yourself and your abilities, arrogance is when you think you are better than others and act accordingly.”
Balancing between confidence and arrogance can be tricky; however, knowing and understanding how you feel or act is a key in being one or the other. Ryan and I often bounce thought processes off each other to ensure our actions are in the positive bucket.
TIP: Find someone you can talk to, if you aren’t sure how your behaviors are being perceived.
Confidence is something we all need appearing in our business. Unfortunately, fear holds people back from building their confidence and sometimes even recognizing areas where they are confident.
There are many ways you can exhibit and build confidence.
- Business building and growth
- Personal health, wellness, and appearance
Similar to working out, building your confidence is like building muscles. It takes practice, hard work, determination. All of us can do it.
When I interviewed John Lee Dumas, host of Entrepreneurs on Fire podcast, he said, “I think when it comes to confidence, a great thing to keep in mind is perspective. We are all not confident about certain things and number one, that’s natural. That’s normal. You’re a human being.”
Confidence Regarding People, Relationships, and Communication
When I started as an Independent Sales rep in 2009, I never lacked in confidence regarding cold calling, networking, and asking for the sale. I had the right balance and basic understanding after being a corporate buyer for 16 years. I felt confident in knowing how to build a relationship, add value, and have product knowledge. Where I quickly had to pick up some confidence was in dealing with people. Yes, dealing with customers was the hardest part.
Ryan and I quickly learned, not all people are nice. Some customers are demanding. Others may have high expectations, strange thought processes, or requests, etc. I am sure Ryan and I aren’t alone.
I recall making my first sales trip. I conducted introduction phone calls to say “Hello” and mentioned I was going to be traveling to meet my new clients face to face and visit their store. The intention was a friendly sales visit to learn the territory. One account flipped out on me about coming to visit in offseason and she didn’t want to place an order. By no means was I pressuring or even expecting an order – just a visit to introduce myself. Her behavior never improved.
I’ve run into a few accounts similar to her over the past ten years – they don’t change. I have learned to conduct background research and have conversations with other sales reps in the same territory to see if their behavior is a trend. It usually is.
Instead of spending energy, time, and resources trying to manage the situation, it’s best to walk away or give space. The more I practiced this, the more confident I became in trusting my gut when making choices. The great news is better customers appeared. I learned my time and energy is better spent helping them versus focusing on challenging customers.
Once I realized this was a win in my confidence bucket, we started applying it to Good Karma Sportfishing. Sure enough, the same results occurred. As Ryan’s confidence grew in turning down charters for a multitude of reasons, better clients came along. The better clients appreciated his time, talent, fun attitude, and persistence on the water. They had a memorable and incredible trip. Building confidence was a win-win for everyone and has lead to increased repeat business.
Confidence to know when something doesn’t work for you or sound right to you
Ryan and I have taken risks, and not all of them have worked out. One example is when we had connected with a fishing lure maker, based in Mexico. We asked to be the US-based distributor of his product. We worked extremely hard for a year and a half on this business.
The business was about to turn a profit, when the maker decided to compete against us with his website. His website was written in English, had a stronger URL than ours, and featured shipping anywhere in the world.
He thought this was acceptable and we would continue to work with him. It was not acceptable, and we pulled out quickly. All three of those factors made him a competitor. We were confident in our decision and we were clear on what we brought to the table. It was the right decision.
“No Mistakes Only Gifts. It’s this idea that you’re either going to win or learn, but you will never lose. You only lose if you allow your mindset to take you to that place. When instead you choose to only seeing your life through the lens of possibility and positivity, you really become unstoppable.” As Professional Speaker and CEO of Holla Productions, Judi Holler, shared during an interview on The Good Karma Success Coach Podcast Episode 74.
When you reframe your thinking in regard to mistakes, the pressure is off. Everyone has gifts, but it’s how you move through them and apply the learnings that drive you toward success. When we stopped working with the lure maker, we never thought of it as a mistake. Gifts came from that experience and we were grateful.
You may also experience a setback. A setback can propel you to pivot or tweak your business. Ryan and I often use setbacks as fuel. It’s motivation to get through challenges and move forward in our business. Spending time wallowing in the mud doesn’t help. Wallowing only creates negative forces, which ultimately slow you down.
A better word than setback is evolving. Many entrepreneurs evolve; unfortunately, not too many share this part of the journey.
Confidence to forge your own path
It’s essential to have enough confidence to say “no” to an opportunity. Ryan often receives opportunities to take others fishing on their boats. For years we regularly discussed this and shut the door quickly. The discussion dives into many variables, which would be part of or result in accepting the opportunity. Some of the things we consider are:
- Is the opportunity on brand?
- How does it make him feel?
- Is it worth his time?
- Is there information he wishes to share in that format?
- What will the outcome be?
When Covid-19 started, Ryan finally had time to start working on his courses. Offering courses to his audience for fishing tips, and ideas has been a discussion for a long time. I have purchased many courses on courses, read books, listened to podcasts, and every time I would bring up someone’s course process i.e., funnels, challenges, webinars, lead magnets, affiliates, etc. Ryan wasn’t interested.
We finally came up with the idea that works for him: sharing his mindset, time, ideas, and authentic nature. We decided to offer videos, varying in price, let them be evergreen, on our Shopify website. Whenever he has time, he creates a new course and promotes it to the level he feels is best. This process has proved very successful and built his confidence.
Not everything fits the brand. An owner selling a fishing product called asking to be featured on Ryans Podcast, Good Karma Sportfishing. He was looking to be a guest and talk about his product. Ryan only talks about the products he regularly uses and how they perform. We asked for the company to send us some product to try. They never did. The same company appeared on another podcast very quickly after our conversation, which made us believe that podcast hadn’t tried the product, and they took advantage of their audience.
NOTE: It’s good to understand what boundaries you wish to set for your company and brand. Then develop a clear vision. Sticking with that vision and measuring the results will build your confidence toward future decisions.
Creating a level of confidence in your mind and support systems
Seeking wisdom from others can help build your confidence. You may have thoughts or ideas and doubt yourself. Perhaps you read something which triggered a buried idea. The other person’s mindset and content brought it back to life and fueled you with the courage and confidence to move forward.
To build confidence: surround yourself with support or create a mastermind like JLD mentions below and keep a positive forward movement perspective. “You always have to reground yourself. And that’s why I’m a huge believer in being part of a mastermind. Surrounding yourself with people who you know, like, trust, and most importantly, really respect in your industry.”6
It’s easy to start your own mastermind or other groups. Don’t be overwhelmed. It may take some time, but it’s not difficult. I started a mastermind with two fellow speakers I met through a course last year. We zoom once a month and it has been extremely helpful in learning tips, keeping each other motivated, bouncing ideas, and networking. Constantly be making an effort to reach out and build your relationships.
On the flip side, recognize when you need to let go of some relationships or take a step back. When we first moved to The Keys, we met another couple who seemed supportive. As we grew our business, we could feel their energy shift. They stated making odd comments, and the vibe changed. We had to walk away from this couple. It was OK to let them go. As you build your confidence, you will notice it’s natural for some relationships to ebb and flow.
The 3 Action Steps to Create Unstoppable ConfidenceTM
Unstoppable Confidence Step 1 – Identify:
Sit down, take a journal, a pad of paper, your phone, or whatever works for you and write down the area(s) where you desire to build confidence.
Step 1 Bonus Tip: I talk about putting things into buckets while coaching and on my podcast Crush It In Sales. Putting skills, desires, or even people into buckets can help you prioritize, manage expectations, or edit these. It’s an easy way to categorize and make something less daunting.
In regard to the areas where you need to build confidence, make a list by creating columns and listing each trait under a bucket by level of difficulty. Bucket 1 is the least difficult to Bucket 3 being the most difficult. Examples:
Bucket 1: Need confidence in regularly executing social media posts.
Bucket 2: Need confidence in executing social media posts when I am promoting my business.
Bucket 3: Need confidence in doing live videos to promote my business.
Unstoppable Confidence Step 2- Intention:
Think about “Your WHY”; per Simon Sinek. Your WHY is fundamental in everything you do. The majority of people do not sit and think about their WHY. They may think about it briefly and then move on versus incorporating it into their lives, daily thought patterns, and choices. The choices you make will define you. If you circle back and remember your WHY as you make those choices, you will stay on the right path.
Step 2 Bonus Tip: Circle back on the things you’re good at and areas you’re already confident. Think about how you became confident in those areas.
What were the setbacks you used as fuel to keep going? What was your WHY when you were going through a challenge? Is there something you achieved and you forgot about it?
Take time to reflect. Often, we’re so busy going through our life and our daily routine that we don’t reflect enough to set ourselves up for success.
Unstoppable Confidence Step 3- Action:
What actions are you going to take? Depending on what it is, it could be small steps – daily, weekly, or monthly. When we were taking action steps toward building a community, it seemed scary and daunting. As time went by with each step, it became easier and more fun.
Step 3 Bonus Tip: When you make a plan and think about your WHY, it creates motivation and reason. We all need motivation and reason. Without it, there is no reason to do anything. You are hungry, so you eat. You are tired, so you sleep. Understanding the motivation behind your plan is as simple as breaking it down into basic reasons.
When you use the breakdown approach, it’s not so scary. Once you realize the things you’ve done before that got you where you are today, it becomes obvious and achievable.
We all have infinite potential to be successful. Some of these steps may seem simple, but aren’t always easy. It’s the consistent work over time that creates the results. Most people don’t do the work and this is why they don’t succeed. Time goes by quickly. Create daily, weekly, or monthly steps to increase your confidence.
Ryan and I continue to fine tune our confidence on a daily basis. We follow the steps above and pivot along the way. Things do have a way of working themselves out and we learn from any gifts. Those gifts make us stronger so we can consistently elevate our business and help others along the way too.
The powerful combination of believing in yourself and taking action creates confidence, and you will be unstoppable.
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