How Energy Can Shift, If You Don’t Prepare
Do you take a few minutes to prep before a networking call when you are first meeting someone?
I could never figure out why it bothered me when someone didn’t do at least five minutes of research about me before a networking call. But, unfortunately, it’s more common than not.
It bothered me because it wasn’t about ego.
It wasn’t that I desired to be noticed.
I have actually started to work on being more visible. In case you haven’t noticed.
No…none of those things.
But it was plaguing me and consistently a trigger.
Finally, it hit me the other day.
I had a networking call with a lovely woman who is a friend of a friend. I, as usual, took a few minutes to scroll her IG and see if she was on LI. Literally, it took me five minutes; I gathered a few thoughts on conversation starters based on her feed and rolled on.
We jumped on the zoom call, and after a few minutes, she was transparent that she had been busy and didn’t have time to take a peek at my feed.
No shade on her, as mentioned above; this is more common than not.
But again, why did it bother me?
I am a great conversationalist and had prepped for our call. I am naturally curious and have the skill of carrying a conversation and knowing where to go next.
But after I went through all my initial thoughts, it happened…
Silence and the dreaded statement, “So tell me about yourself.”
If you could hear inside my brain, you would hear the tire screeching on the pavement.
Melinda, take a deep breath…
Sorry to be so graphic, but if you have ever word-vomited on someone, you will understand.
And it’s not that I am not versed in what to say. Lord knows I have worked with enough marketing coaches, taken quizzes, and been in networking groups to have an elevator pitch.
But in this instance, after the person shared everything about herself, it was my turn.
And I have a lot to say, a lot of experience, not only in business but in life. And now those stories want to be shared.
- Someone says they are a writer, “Yep, so am I. I am a paid freelance writer, a bestselling author of two books, and a co-authored book.”
- Someone says they are an entrepreneur, “Yep, so am I with one of the most challenging business models, and I own it with my husband.” Fun times!
- Someone says they have had a death in their family. “Yep, two major deaths in my family, very young, plus one of my best friends.”
- Someone says they are spiritual, “Yep, I am super intuitive and can channel too.”
These are just a few examples, and all experiences are important but can vary in importance based on the person I am speaking with.
So, where do I start when someone asks such a general question?
It’s confusing. It can take weeks or many books to unravel to get the story out.
Hence, in the puke…
What I found is…
That my energy shifts.
From being someone involved in a fun, collaborative conversation to, “Here is the list of all my accomplishments.”
That is not my vibe at all. No thanks!
That one-sided conversation and list of experiences feel gross, braggartry and honestly does anyone even remember it all? But if you don’t mention a list, you also have the energy of short-changing yourself or possibly running out of things to continue as a discussion.
Feel the loop?
Understanding the energetics not only of others but yourself can be life-changing. You can be more prepared for the next time and guide someone on how they could improve. Also, as a mentor and coach, it’s crucial to lead a conversation.
But with this story, let’s take it to the next level in building relationships so you are continually operating from a place of alignment. Spend a few minutes pulling up a social media account of theirs so you can learn just enough to avoid this energetic entanglement.
When you operate from a place of alignment…that’s where the magic happens!
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